Signs of a Controlling (Abusive) Relationship, Father-Son Talk – Episode 40 FTQA

Jacob and I have a father-son discussion on signs of an unhealthy, controlling relationship. It’s a conversation I’ve wanted to have with him for many months, but never worked into a recording yet. Listen to Episode 40 to listen how I get the discussion going on unhealthy relationships.


The key word and behavior to watch out as a sign of a controlling relationship is jealousy. Many teens I’ve worked with will think that jealousy is the way that a boy is supposed to show a girl he likes her. It is really a display of possessiveness over a “thing” as well as a show of insecurity on the part of the person acting jealous.

How do I know this? I ask in a pre-survey, “A boy is showing how much he likes a girl when he shows that he is jealous for her.” Around 92 percent of the time, students respond with either agreeing or strongly agreeing with that response. Those same students identify jealousy as an unhealthy behavior. They know it’s not healthy, but also expect it as a way of showing love to each other.

By the way, there were quite a few student groups that would share with me that “blackmail” was when someone has an embarrassing photo of someone (sexting image) and uses it to get that person to do more stuff like have sex, or not break up with them. Think SnapChat is a great idea? Think again. I’ll write more about that later.


Jacob’s question to me: What do I love most about Christmas? Proof that my kids do not listen to the show.


My question to Jacob: How would one person try to control another person?


Have a question for the show? Leave a comment below, leave a voicemail, or send us an email using the contact form.



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  • Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway. Use Group Name “Corpus Christi” and save up to $100/couple.
  • Passport 2 Purity, a great tool to start a series of conversations with your teen or pre-teen about sex, dating, and peer pressure.


2 thoughts on “Signs of a Controlling (Abusive) Relationship, Father-Son Talk – Episode 40 FTQA

  1. Part 2 of this series is worth reading, too. It turned out that many of my friends who liked the original meme actually were in agreement on standing up to bully norms.

  2. this is really cool. i love how u dissescted the quote because for a second i thought y’all were trying to demean standing up for anti-bullying. i think you are somewhat right on humans and how the stand up for themselves against bullying. this is really helping me with my research. thanks!

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