Liv and I had Jacob to ourselves this morning while Emma was with her Grammies for a slumber party. It was the perfect time to tell our 8-year old boy about the birds and the bees. One may think that is too early, but Jacob has already had classmates talk to him about internet porn sites. If we chose to ignore this any longer, he would receive all his lessons on love and sex from other 8-year old boys rather than from adult parents grounded in Jesus Christ who have already made mistakes of our own.
That was the easy part, and he was pretty grossed out by it saying, “That just sounds wrong!” We laughed then, of course he had to find out how many times mom and dad have done it. That’s where the hard part began.
See, many people don’t know this, but Liv was 2 months pregnant when we met in Germany. I am not Jacob’s biological father but in my heart he has always been my son. I was there for all his ultrasounds, I named him Nerf while Liv was pregnant, and I got to hold him when he was born. I was even called “Mr. Morales” by the German doctors during Liv’s pregnancy, and I got the dirtiest look from the clerk filling out his birth certificate in Germany when we said father “unknown”. Jacob’s “sperm donor” didn’t want to be on the birth certificate, and Liv didn’t want him on it either. I wanted to put my own name, but couldn’t. I hadn’t even proposed to Liv yet. There has never been any doubt in my heart on Jacob being my son.
Liv and I prayed before we started this “birds & bees” talk for the right, loving words to tell Jacob the whole truth about his life.
He knows about his biological dad. He knows that I loved him as a son before he was even born, just as God loves us all before we were even born. He knows that God loves us unconditionally because He chose to not because He has to, and that’s the same way I love Jacob. Because I love Liv so much, I am commited to always be with her and love her to be the best husband I can be for her, therefore I will always strive to be the best father I can be for him. He also knows that God is forgiving. Liv and I both didn’t save ourselves before marriage and Liv actually got pregnant before we ever met. Where most people would see this as a shameful moment in life, God took this “mistake” and made something beautiful out of it, my marriage with Liv and my son, Jacob. Because of God’s love and grace for us, our mistakes can be turned into something bigger and more beautiful.
Our relationship with Jacob just got deeper and stronger because he better understands my love for him.