Husbands, Lead, Dang It! …”Follow” and “Get Out of the Way” Are Not Options

John 13:5

“…but I could never convince my husband to attend one of these.” This is the most common response I hear women give when Olivia and I  promote A Weekend to Remember marriage getaway by FamilyLife. What amazes me is the consistency in that response from the women who say it, the dejected tone of disappointment, her head and eyes looking to the floor, and the slow walk-away. That body language and tone of voice desperately screams of sadness. For all the goodness in her husband, there is great disappointment knowing that he won’t spiritually lead her, and she can’t convince him to do it (Proverbs 27:17).

Sometimes, a husband will proudly talk about how good he is to his to his wife by feeding me a list of reasons, excuses, and accomplishments to justify his not taking his wife to a marriage getaway/conference. Why do I need to be convinced of how good a husband someone is? I want to yell at these men, “Don’t waste your time trying to convince me that you love your wife! Use that time and energy convincing HER that you love your wife!

“Selfish, prideful, childish men! You serve yourselves MORE than you serve your wives, then act surprised when one of you winds up in an affair, or someone declares a desire for a divorce. Your car looks and runs great because of the time you put into it. Your body is healthy because of the time you spend exercising. Your fishing skills, and ability to build a fantasy football team are the stuff of legends, but your marriage looks horrendous and is filled with frustration and pain because little to no time is invested in the relationship with your spouse and you serve yourselves rather than lead your wives through serving them! Instead of pursuing toys, hobbies, and money, set aside the materialism and pursue your wives!” Yes, I was still yelling at these men.

Think about it. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, had EVERY right to have people bow down to Him, however He would take the time to wash the feet of His own servants (John 13:5). He instructed His disciples that to be the greatest, one needed to first become the servant (Mark 10:43). You want to be a GREAT husband to your wife, then consider becoming her servant and actually love her the way Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-31). Men, your wives need you to lead them spiritually by serving their spiritual needs with urgency and priority. Choose to serve her desire to attend A Weekend to Remember, for example, instead of going on that fishing trip. Can’t afford the cost to attend? Look at what you’re spending your money on, and move your money around in a way that shows the priority you place on your marriage over a hobby or gadget.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way!
(Husbands, leading the way Christ led is the only right option.)

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