Confront a Bully

FTQA 057 – How to Confront a Bully Who is Also a Friend

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Emma and I have a father-daughter talk on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz with the Corpus Christi Ballet, favorite doughnuts, and how Emma should confront a bully who is also a friend of hers. Bullying behavior is not one to be tolerated and one that we should not overlook. It is seen by organizations like the Centers for Disease Control, Texas Associates Against Sexual Assault, and PreventConnect as a precursor behavior that is the starting point for other behaviors like dating and domestic violence, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. I’m glad that I had the opportunity to have this discussion with my daughter on how she would like to confront a bully.

Listen to this episode to this episode to see how I broach the subject using a technique I learned last week from Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations program. Key things to listen to include the following:

  • What is the most important thing you and I should talk about?
  • Tell me more about that.
  • How does that make you feel? or What do you feel about that?
  • What else?

The three above phrases allowed me to get Emma to share a lot of details of her situation at school. While I did share some advice, I felt like it was important that Emma share with me her strategy to handle the situation. I could do all the work for her in the short run, or give her the tools to handle herself in the long run. Other helpful phrases included:

  • How would you like to handle this?
  • If she approaches you tomorrow, what do you want to say to her?
  • If you did know, what would that be? (in case she would respond with “I don’t know.”)

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