Fight to Win by Fighting Fairly

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. I want to put that out there before anyone made the snap judgment that I thought there is such a thing. However, it is possible to have a thriving marriage , fights and all, if you keep in mind that even though fights will happen in a marriage, they can be fought fairly in a way that your marriage comes out stronger as a result of the process.

Remember these key points the next time you find yourself disagreeing with your spouse?

1. You spouse is NOT your enemy. God put you together for a purpose, His purpose. Men, God gave you His daughter in marriage. Always treat your wife as a daughter of God. How would you want your daughter treated?
2. Divorce is NOT an option. Removing this option from the table forces you to think of solutions to your issues with your spouse. Oddly enough, the best solution often means letting go of “winning” the argument in order to win in your marriage. There are a couple of biblical cases when divorce is necessary (infidelity and abuse), which tells me that we are called in a Christian marriage to make it work.
3. Your spouse is your partner in life…for life. This ties in with #2, but seriously, if you’re living with each other for life it’s probably worth your while to do things that will help you both thrive.
4. However you like to handle arguments, your spouse is probably the complete opposite. If you were both exactly the same, one of you would be redundant. Keep this in mind. You may like to air out your feelings on the spot, but your spouse may need a few minutes, or a few hours, to soak it all in. Just be sure to resolve the issue before the sun goes down (or before you go to bed).
5. What are you really arguing about? Does your husband really chew his food too loudly, or are you worried about the bills this month? Rather than attack each other, identify and attack the problem…TOGETHER.

Here’s the hard part…actually do this the next time you find yourself in an argument and don’t expect perfect results. You are two imperfect people living in an imperfect world living imperfect lives surrounded by imperfect people. Get the point? A lot of grace is needed in life, patience, humility, and a little thought also help.

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